Eternal Marriage

Last Sundays' lesson has been tumbling around in my thoughts and heart all week. I have so many different feelings on so many levels on this, that it took time to try to put it all together.
I come from a very broken, splintered childhood that continued into my adult life. This makes an eternal marriage a very difficult concept to understand, to follow, to accept.
I struggled with this for years. I do have an eternal marriage. We will be sealed for 5 years this November. But it was not an easy decision. Coming from a very splintered, broken life, how do you follow a commandment that you don't believe is for you? Where do you find the strength, faith and "endure to the end" attitude to follow this commandment? How do you find the strength, faith and "endure to the end" attitude to follow this commandment? Why do you find the strength, faith and "endure to the end" attitude to follow this commandment?
President Joseph F. Smith stated "The Lord has given us his everlasting gospel to be a light and a standard to us, and this gospel includes his holy order of matrimony, which is eternal in nature. We should not and must not follow the marriage practices of the world. We have a greater light than the world has, and the Lord expects more of us than he does of the them." He also stated "No one can be deprived of exaltation who remains faithful......An undeserving husband cannot prevent a faithful wife from an exaltation and vice versa."
I went forward in faith and obtained my eternal marriage that some how, some way, a plan I do not know will make my eternal marriage work. That some how, some way, my broken, splintered life will be whole when Judgement Day arrives.
I have leaned on the Lord trusting in his plan and in the Atonement, that some how, some way, my family will be whole. My family will be linked through time and all eternity and not splintered and broken as it is now.
Kathy